Kusabi

You are Kusabi. Fuck, what the hell is this? Some kind boring-ass text adventure game I'm supposed to roleplay like a dumbass. Actually, you are a detective of the anti

cringe crime unit that cracks down on the lamest cases ever committed. Everyone in your unit is full of pussies with small packages that like to bitch and moan about how their job lacks simulation. At least your sidekick Big dick is capable at his job at the rest, even though he has poor fashion sense. You are tasked to investigate an incident at a nearby vending machine strip with Big dick to investigate why no one is buying Mount blanc at this one machine. The story starts off fairly simple as you are just trying to do your job and get home before curfew. You arrive at the vending machine to see a poor sap called Akihiko hiding behind two machines, this vending machine strip is special cause they serve drinks never sold in any commercial stores. You look at a specific item served in a green vending machine is called marshmallow strawberry coffee burst, sounds way too gross to taste. Big dick glances at the drink reacting similarly. Fuck it, you order the atrocious drink for 50,000 yen inserting the notes, selecting the item and turning the dial. The drink falls down and you pick it up to reveal a note stuck to it. "This is a joke right?" You say. "I can't believe someone would put something like this here."

Big Dicks reaction is more of surprise than anything else. You take the note at the back and read it. It reads "40 degrees in Arizona, avoid adding salt to the horse jade statue, wife makes red bean noodles". What the fuck,the note is then given to Big Dick to keep for a future puzzle that may pop up which Big dick doesn't question it. You walk away from the green vending machine and decide to go to the mini mall circle to order some Chinese take away. You were eating at that place all the time when you were working part time in the student part of town, the food was easy to get and cheap so you ordered some fried noodles with Spicy sauce, yummy. Big dick walks away from the food stalls and heads to a dollar store with ugly balloons and polluted with celebration cards at the front. Conveniently, finds a empty arizona tea drink standing upright next to a kirk bottle. Big dick wacks the kirk bottle with brute force which the owner doesn't seem to give a shit to witness vandalism first hand. You walk into the store to find Big dick at the front counter, "you find something worthwhile Big Dick?". Big dick just, solves a puzzle before your eyes referencing that note you gave him, revealing a hidden door behind the cashier. "Fuckin hell" you say. "Did that just open up or am I getting old". "Well, we have found our killer's hideout, let's pop this cocksucker". "Hell yeah" you say, entering the dungeon. The room is dark, lit by some candles and electricity. There is a big wooden table along with a few office chairs.